Thursday, January 9, 2014

A Case for Melbs - Day Five

Day Five

Today I revisited Collingwood in order to have a deliciously brewed coffee from Proud Mary. Boy should she be proud for she is indeed delicious. I had a smooth and rich long black, sipped it up before a beautiful sailing ships' hull of a bowl arrived with a lemongrass and vanilla rice pudding inside. It was lovely to look at, not to mention lovely to eat. I learned much about the lives of the people sitting next to me - which was hilarious (only to me) and also loudly obtrusive. 

Collingwood is a hilarious place and I can't quite work out what's it's 'deal'. It's full of quirky and elegant barber shops, grungy and earthy cafés, crazy vintage stores and yet elegant boutiques boasting fine pastel homewares and natural expensive products for your skin. In my two short experiences of this town I smelt (both times) this peculiar scent lingering and wafting around the streets, the only thing it reminded me of was the one which affronts you when you open a bag of Doritos. Alas, it was a bag that had something terribly wrong with it, these Doritos were not ones I wanted to eat. In fact, the smell of Doritos often mingled with what I can only describe as festering seafood. It was all round, a little gross.

 Some things, I find comfortingly universal about Australia; the way we greet each other, our vocal volumes and the playing of indigenous instruments at random. Melbourne is certainly no exception, but allow me to use my short yet culturally rich walk up to the Main Street of Collingwood to illustrate these little comforts which really do help you to feel at home in an unknown place. On my walk I was first confronted with a loud yelling noise, as I got closer I discovered the source to be a man yelling loudly. He was also running. This although unexpected is really not so unusual. Australians love to yell. I walked on. Only to be greeted by a warm and friendly lady who wore a fluorescent green singlet and was walking in the oncoming direction to me with a child in hand. She smiled as she said 'hi! How are you today?'. I smiled and said 'hello!... I....' Trailing off on the last bit as I realised I had made the fatal error of not just blurting out 'GOOD'. What a humorous bunch we Australians are, asking questions to each other when we're actually just about to be a step behind the other person who is traveling in an opposite direction. I sometimes wish we instead would finish our own hilarious jokes with some brutal honesty, my alternative scenario is, woman in fluorescent green singlet and with child in hand smiles and says 'HI! How are you today?!' As she passes and is now behind she laughs back to me 'Just kidding, I don't care! Have a good day!' And I will laugh. Because it's true. Because we sometimes don't care about other how people are today and that's ok. It would be weird if you, happy fluorescent singlet wearing lady did care how I was. Now, my final and favourite encounter was that of a man walking down the street in a casual and jolly sort of way. He was carrying a digeridoo. He tooted it periodically every so often. People just clearly felt at home with this sound, it just sunk right into the background static of normality, for not a single person around raised an eyebrow. Ah normality. Collingwood you make me feel as if we are one, but we are many. 

Later this day I went into the city. Something I had been eager to do since I arrived in Melbourne. I visited my favourite coffee shop, Patricia, a beautiful, sophisticated, elegant and authentic little space where they literally just do coffee - black, white or filter. Damn they do it so well. I will forever be in awe of you Patricia. You are detailed immaculately, the gold announcing 'Patricia' on your door, your tiled 'standing room only' which is really not a lie and my, your layout, your suave simplicity, and how can one forget your amazingly handsome leather aprons. I would choose the hashtag swoon to describe you, for I feel it covers all the bases. I had a mouthwatering pour over. And I thank you sincerely from the bottom of my heart. 

I also did a fair bit of walking this day. Around the city, to Federation Square and down Flinders Lane. The fair bit of walking was mainly accumulated by walking to and from my car. I've decided it would be really great (seeing as I have oodles of time on my hands and little concrete agenda) to really embrace my freedom and just not ever pay for parking in Melbs. Admittedly this often results in 25 minute walks to destinations and up to about a 27 minute hunt around my destination for a free park. All in all, a worthwhile thing to do. Save money on parking, spend petrol, exercise those calves for copious distances. 

I also found today a little information booth for real tourists in the city. I was real and a tourist so I felt entitled to a map and some human interaction from the famously friendly and helpful, red shirted, city guides. In fact, I knew exactly what I wanted. 'Hi, could I please have one of those urban walkabout brochures!?' I said quite confidently to the old, warmly smiling man in the red shirt behind the counter. He just cupped his hand to his ear. I repeated myself louder. He tried to decipher my crazy language 'urba... Wh.. A walk about? Do you want to walk about?...We have some excellent brochures on..' 'No no no, sorry, I mean it's a thing that you do around the city, it's called urban walkabout' 'oooh well, there is a guided group leaving in about...' 'No no no, sorry, it's just there on the shelf'. Old man shuffles toward shelf... 'Yep, that's it, directly in fron..' Man looks around for several minutes, I just stand pointing and looking directly at it, hoping to goodness he turns around and see me. He very carefully plucked it finally from the shelf and picked up many other little folded things which he shuffled back to endearingly explain to me. I loved this little man, even more so when he got out his little red pen and started to draw on one of the maps he had decided I would want aswell, 'now somewhere you may not have heard about.. A little gem that you'll definitely want to see... Down on Collins Street...' He explained, while he drew carefully exactly where the footprint of the building could be located. 'It's number three, three, three, yes... Is the old commercial bank' he slowly narrated perfectly in time to narrate his live inscription on the map in capitalized old man font. 'It was built in 1880, and you can even go into the foyer, it's simply spectacular, it was built during the gold rush' he said as he finished labeling the little square he allocated on the map. 'Now, over here' he said as he drew another box outline of a building on the other side of the road. 'Over here we have the... 'A. N. Z. Gothic Bank' ' still scribing away.,, 'it's very old and you can't miss it for it was built in the gothic architectural style, it's another 'must see' building, you'll really enjoy it' he assured me. Little did he know that he had me at 'building' when he first mentioned it almost as a secret most people miss. I loved his inside knowledge and I appreciated it immensely, I tried to convey this to him with the most heartfelt 'thank you' I could muster and with 1 wanted urban walkabout map, 3 smaller maps - one personally annotated and one big city map I was on my merry way. The buildings were, indeed as he had said, nothing short of spectacular. My tiny architecture loving self that I thought I maybe squashed out of me earlier this year suddenly pounced back to life after being stirred with the smell of marble and the sight of curving and gold embellished, symmetry. 

After staring up at the ceilings enough to make me dizzy and exchange glances with the guard keepers or modern day equivalent of the sacred foyers, I ambled my way back to my car. To travel back home. Only, I didn't yet feel like going home, slash back to budget hotel accommodation, so I instead walked up Lygon Street in search of some food. And my, was there food aplenty! For those of you familiar with Leichhardt in Sydney, I can say it is very similar, except only at least 12 times more intense. Think of a long long street, the footpath completely enclosed by big fabric awnings outdoor seating to your left and to your right, a restaurant, complete with a menu in a font big enough to read from two streets away and a menu sidekick, who's main job appears to be cajoling innocent walkers-by into first shopping to glance at the menu and about one second after that, they 'invite' you to sit down. By 11 meters of walking, I felt grossly harassed and made a game of looking as unapproachable and disinterested as possible, interestingly the cajoling persisted. Much to my immediate disappointment and frustration. Once I found some food, I walked back to the car avoiding the Main Street and instead enjoyed some fine Carlton boastings of terraced architecture. I then proceeded to bundle myself up in a blanket and set off on a well known adventure into the beautiful park and gardens of Carlton. I sat in a choice position to watch the sun set and see the well and carefully laces lights flicker on at the exhibition hall when it started to darken. Now, I had set about eating some dinner, and I was quite alone, no one else in my direct vicinity - perfect I thought... I decided to use this blessed opportunity to eat without a single care for etiquette, which somehow seagulls must really enjoyed, for one keen gull watched me intently for my entire performance. He had beady eyes, which I didn't appreciate in the slightest, if you're going to watch me please do so in a polite fashion at least! I finished my meal and stuffed some iPod into my ears and opened my book.... At my moment of relaxation a small family walked by the pond (yes I always sit in the same spot, it's just so perfect I can't possibly imagine sitting anywhere else!) two grandparents and two grandchildren. The youngest of which was hopping from pond edge stone to stone, she said to whoever was listening while she hopped 'Yes! I saw a real mouse!!' Her grandfather then replied, indulging his precious granddaughter 'really?!' And snuck me a knowing glance as if to say 'we both know there was no such mouse!', 'yes! Really! It was a brown one! And very big!' It was very funny for she didn't seem to detect the slight skepticism in his reply and had simply carried on in padding out her discovery with as much detail as she could recall. They walked on smiling. I dug back into my book, only to be distracted half an hour later by... Is that.. A rat!? Indeed it was a rat and it was exactly as that small lively girl described. I laughed. I once again returned to my book, only to be interrupted once again by another two ratty friends. It felt like they were emerging from the reeds of the pond in force, and to be honest they were quite friendly looking, though they never acknowledged me, their secret force was out in number and they proceeded to singularly pick a time each in succession to its' former to bound across the lawn beside me. The look on their faces was cunning, as if they were executing a sneaky and secret plan... There seemed to be a stream of these guys relocating from their previous pondy location to the little shrubby place behind me. Little did they seem to know that I watched them the whole time and I was delighted. And then I froze. Well, not literally. It was well, dark by this time and this night was particularly chilly. The lights were on but my fingers started to do that thing where they try to perform everyday functions such as turning a book page but fail miserably because they are just too cold. Shame. I was kind of wanting to finish my chapter, even if in dim dim impractical reading light. 

Sunday, January 5, 2014

A Case for Melbs - Day Four

Now it's observation day. I've had enough time in Melbourne to make a satisfactory few comments based on my extensive 4 day experience. 

1. Is it just me or are things way more relaxed down here? People walk slower. I have literally seen two people rush in my entire time here, one was a girl who's agenda for quickened pace will remain a mystery forever more and the second was me, realizing I was overdressed in a bogan/casual shopping centre I did what any woman in a blazer does amongst trackies... Pretends she's just come home from work and rushes through the shopping to get to some other place. Of course it was ridiculous. Everyone saw what I was up to, you can't hide your unnecessarily speedy habits here you sydney-sider. They said to me with their eyes, which stared at me blankly and then kind of just went back to choosing yogurt really slowly. Today I wore a jacket and yes it's summer, and yes it was more like a woolen coat and my goodness was it amazing to do that mid summer. Anyway, the point is that this jacket had pockets, which I made a point to thrust my hands into purposefully when meandering through towns and streets and gardens. It really helped me to slow down to the pace of a regular Melbourne local. The benefits I am still reaping. 

2. Roads are fantastic. I've used my car to get around so far mainly because I am staying at an inconvenient distance away from those delightful trams, but gee have I been rewarded. Driving around is so brilliant and straightforward here. It's not tangled, or illogical. The city and outer city grid is just wonderful, I can almost do away with GPS at this point. The way people use their bikes and have their own lane is seriously great too. 

3. Roads continued... Slash let's just take a whole dot point to talk about u-turns. Seriously. Why the Bek do we not have these little helpers in Sydney? In fact, Melbourne has so many of them that at the rare occasion you can't slip a cheeky u-turn it's signed. It's the best. Main roads, mini roads, big roads... So so handy.

4. Victoria - the garden state. Now, this is a personal connection and may not be one that the state is attempting to make directly, but the amount of greenery and maintained garden here is phenomenal. Every street divider - lined with symmetrical shrubs and swaying trees. Every round-a-bout; manicured. Streets; lined with trees. Everything is fricken lined with trees and I just adore it. Maybe that's what makes it so nice to drive everywhere.

5. Fashion.  Now, is it just me or are the streets of newtown and surry hills filled with fashionable folk? As fashionable as it may be... It's always somewhat contrived, I don't know, it's just a vibe I get when I see blue overalls and green Hawaiian shirts mixed together with brown boots and black socks with pink stripes. Here... It's just as quirky but it's a little more honest to me, people just seem to be wearing what actually looks to be genuinely comfortable. And they pull it off. No pretense. 

6. Road rage/general beeping. Is either hilariously inappropriate or just plain vital. In Sydney, as you have most certainly experienced is just rude- all the time, the people of Sydney are angry things that find getting in their car and rushing off somewhere, their hands just ready and waiting for a moment they can slam it down on their horn to let off some steam. In Melbourne, I've experienced three beeps, one was a taxi doing something dangerous and illegal at night (wow what?). Two was when I was at a right hand turn, in first, holding my car at friction point on the accelerator and clutch ready to slam into action when the light went green... And the moment it did, the ferocious Toyota rav2 behind me beeped me as if my reaction was not swift enough. Three, I put my blinker on and started to merge almost into a car traveling directly beside me, this was a very helpful beep, which went on for a long time, even after she was well over 5 meters ahead of me, It was almost as if she didn't believe me when I stopped merging onto her the moment she tooted, well actually she didn't believe me for quite a while, even when it was physically impossible for me to merge onto her because I was well behind her. But I let her have it, we almost died because of my blindness. Well in Victoria. 
Ok no that's a lie, a guy in a glossy blue ford falcon xr6 honked at me, only to get my attention and say to me through our open car windows 'you know the speed limit is 70 here...' Ah yes, as I was pulled out of my daydream I realised I was only doing 50km/h. I never do that! I am always the one tailgating and being a general nuisance to drivers doing anything below the speed limit. Is that what those slow guys are doing? Is this how they feel, just completely relaxed and caught up in their own thoughts. He sped off. And within about 500m it became a 50 zone and I laughed. Not because he was wrong, but it was just ironic. 

7. Oh yes and this brings me to the point of Melbourne shoes. As I was unconsciously doing 50 in a 70 zone, I was completely distracted by a lady walking up the street with lime green high tops. They were amazing and got me thinking 'and! Why the hell must everyone have terrific and quirky shoes!'. It's true, people of Melbourne do have fantastic footwear. It's bright and colorful and just plain old fun. People must be able to tell that I'm from Sydney because my shoes probably bore them. 

Friday, January 3, 2014

Melbs - Day Three

I write to you from the Gardens of Carlton. I'm sitting against a tree in front of a big pond with not one but two splashing bits of water both at different heights. Up until now I've been at complete peace, I spied a guy reading a book in this exact position not 10 minutes ago. I thought to myself 'yes, and I shall be the next to sit there', as park spot of choice is a competitive sport you know and you really have to be quite cunning about how aggressively you pursue a patch of grass. Now I chose this spot because the guy who was sitting in it before was in perfect solitude, had a perfect position and a natural back support, what more can you ask for. I have been delighting in it as it's proud new owner for some half hour now. And let me tell you, it's just lovely. Only, now a small family has decided that they would like to park their pram not one metre away from the end of my outstretched leg and have summoned many thousands of seagulls and pigeons with their (now shared) afternoon snacks. I was initially thinking 'incredulous' until their young and gorgeous, wide eyed daughter approached me in bubbling enthusiasm to alert me to the fact that many many feathered friends are now in our immediate vicinity. This observation I was very glad for, because up until that moment I was wondering what that horrendous squawking was. But, in all seriousness, I was completely softened by her confidently innocent approach. In fact, I melted a bit and felt ashamed of my previous and protective anger of my spot, which is not really mine at all. I am, actually in a public place, and I have no more right to this patch of grass than this family. 

Now that they have left, the natural order of things has been restored, only now I am slightly more enlightened, I must say and slightly more at peace now that a new family bearing seemingly delicious and powerfully magnetic snacks has rid my little area of any scabby birds. I would clap if I were in another context. But for now I'll just relax and continue to watch the park instead. 

A case for melbs* - Day Two

Getting relaxed about capitalization in titles - it's a good gauge as to whether or not someone feels at home.

St Kilda via Northcote

Sipped pour over which was delicious at Market Lane [insert hallelujah chorus here], it was called 'Mariano' it's a farm in Brazil and tastes just as exotic as it sounds. The card I received said it tasted like soft orange acid (ity) with roasty hazelnut and milk chocolate to which I heartily agree and can testify to. Sat at the only dirty table which I can only assume was seriously annoying.  I know I will be happy if only I could be a Pharan local and not a Sydney pretender. Wandered through design space on Chapel Street. Was greeted with an all too familiar delight of seeing places, spaces and florists I adored and stood in admiration of not six months ago. Learnt how to drive and make friends with trams. Read about Elzéard Bouffier and marveled in awe at who he was and how he lived. Had a coffee at a quirky and rustic espresso bar called Penny Farthing. Yum but made that amateur mistake of ordering at the counter when actually, it's table service... 'Dayum'.  Today is perfect. The wind is light, it's sunny this afternoon but it was cloudy this morning, it's like a warm surprise hug at the end of the day. I haven't had a human conversation for a whole 24 hours, except to say, 'long black, pour over - ooh yes the Brazilian one'. Words I think, I could live by. I bought a pack of little moleskins and I'm going to write down all the little delights I experience. The first may have to be sitting in the presence of that barista/
man who knows his shit at market lane. Cue trumpets. Oh yes. I also saw a shop called scrounge and immediately was forced to enter simply on the basis that it's a great word and I love a subtle command. I scrounged a pair of pre-loved nikes. They will be very nice to run around in. $5 for some leggy mileage in melbs. Yes, thank you all the more because my runners are sneaking around some 877kms away. Oh, so now I'm in a botanic garden in St. Kilda, my previous reference to the sun hugging me is referring to this moment. On a garden bench. Putting my feet up all over it and admiring roses. Smelling them from 2 meters away if you will. This garden is open from dawn til dusk. I only wish I had brought something to get me through til then, alas my book is finished and my phone battery is almost dead which is basically synonymous with literal death. 

I finished today with seeking the coast I had heard about, via many many wrong turns which to my absolute delight lead me up and down many a tree lined street. After finally scrounging (thank you small shop in Northcote this morning for reviving this gem of a word back into my immediate vocabulary) a car park I shoved some hands into pockets of a denim jacket which surprisingly had about zero thermal properties for a breezy coastline walk, and pretty much looked ridiculous with my outfit of the day, and went for an explore along a lovely and well defined bitumen walking path, complete with what I can only assume was the equivalent to a walking slow and looking at things for ages lane and a brisk to wild running lane. Surely these could be the only categories for a divided human path, for there was a separate bike path. I walked across a beautiful expanse of plush grass, up a hill, all with the backdrop of one of the most impressive sunsets I've seen. It was uninterrupted and just, magnificent. The way the sun was pouring streaking through the clouds was nothing short of breathtaking. I walked back down the hill and the wind made my hair all crazy, which in movies is incredibly charming and picturesque but in real life it's horrible, annoying and most unflattering. I fixed the nuisance of my hair at a small rock I found to view the entirety of the sunset privately, off the advanced path catering for the many types of human on foot modes of travel. This was lovely. And also very cold. But I didn't mind chattering my teeth in exchange for a wonderful sunset. As I moseyed on back to my little car, I touched some plants, which, yep, feel exactly the same as they do in New South Wales. A notable observation. As I drove the roller coaster of Melbournes Luna Park caught my eye, I utilized my favourite road feature of Melbourne; the u-turn bay placed deliberately what seems to be every 20 meters of road (the best gift to naturally sporadic drivers such as myself) and slipped back to see it for reals. I even hopped out of my car and walked up to that very famous yet almost disconcerting face. Looks... Yep, pretty much exactly the same as what it does on my Instagram feed. Tick. 
I drove home. Happily. And pretty surprised at my own unplanned adventure today. 

A Case for Melbs* - Day One

We're all susceptible to the magical glittering promise of green grass on the other side of where we live out monotonous lives. My brain has a hard time convincing itself it's a lie. Especially when the brain is so supported by all my senses which jump out and around and gather anything they can get their greedy little hands on when I am somewhere new. Delight is a hard thing to deny when it's pretty much the only information gathered. Although, every experience I have of something new, all the love and sparkle soon fades and then I'm left with that irky feeling that I need to get up and get my hands on something fresh. Melbourne, is pretty much the epitome of the dreamland I once heard spoken about in year 3. I suspect Mrs Sheldon-Collins was very much trying to do justice to aboriginal history, and my did she try to keep it specifically in relation to the dreamtime but I think she unknowingly and consequentially sparked a curiosity in me as to whether this dreamtime is in fact a past event or if some other version if it does not occur to all of us in her class. After all, year 3 teaches us nothing but, dream time exists all the time as the only escape of monotonous 8 year old life cooped up in a room with dark blue carpet. And now you hear the place where I am coming from, you'll just connect with my whole journey a whole lot better. 
Melbourne is green. The grass is green guys. So green it hurts. 

I once visited this place with a working adult memory earlier this year with a dear friend. My experience was just like being let loose in a candy store, suddenly everything you love is all around you. It's pure delight everywhere you look, the wind on your skin even feels like it was wisped there just for you, everything smells delicious, not even an exaggeration. So of course, I have been hankering to get my whole self back here for longer than just the 3 perfect days that I spent here last time. Yes. And my, is it just exactly as it first felt. Except, Chapel Street feels more like home this time. The comforting same newness it had before... The roads that I'm driving on for the second time are a welcome route. It's all that exciting 6 month established nostalgia returning to me, I am sucking it all in at a greedy pace. 


*Melbs is an abbreviation for Melbourne. I think you'll find that it's affectionate nickname and is widely encouraged.

A Case for Melbourne

Oh, so I'm on a personal (physical and emotional) journey to Melbourne, the unofficial and secret slogan of which is 'the city of wanderers dreams'. Surprisingly it hasn't appeared on any number plates in Victoria, yet. Welcome if you're reading, I'm actually just writing to document what I find as a sort of alternative to human conversation, which is usually an acceptable form and forum for documentation of observations, discoveries and happenings to occur in. Instead, blogger dot com will be just perfect for me, seeing as I am by myself, conducting or participating in a conversation with myself would just not be in my favour. So here's to Melbourne. And to not making rash decisions of packing all personal belongings into my car and trundling myself down here for good, yet.